Assuming you've had your fill of perusing porn for the evening or have other users of your system you don't want discovering your sexual interests, Sir Randy will walk you through this do-it-yourself process. You may wish to practice at least several times in case you must do this quickly in an emergency situation!

Microsoft's Internet Explorer now makes it quite easy to "cover you tracks" as it were. With your browser software open, click on Tools on the top menu. Under the Tools pull down menu, select Internet Options. Doing so will produce a pop-up screen.

Next, click on the tab marked General. In the middle you will find a section labeled 'Temporary Internet files.' There are two buttons you should click: 'Delete Cookies' (removes cookies that may have been placed by adult web sites onto your computer) and 'Delete Files' (removes cached or temporary files of the web pages you have visited).

Now, look toward the bottom of the General tab. You will see a section called 'History.' Click the button marked 'Clear History.' This will remove the record within the browser of your having visited naughty places online.

The last thing is to click your 'Start' button, click on 'Settings' and then 'Taskbar and Start Menu'. Click the 'Start Menu Programs' tab at the top. Click the 'Clear' button under 'Documents menu'. You can skip this if you didn't download a single item, picture, graphic, etc.

You should now have your tracks covered fairly effectively, unless your significant other, friends, family, or co-workers happen to be both nosy and very technically inclined. Now, wipe off your keyboard and monitor. As Sir Randy's venerable grandfather, Sir Percy, once said: "Now's time for a ciggy."